Core Value: Avoid Judgment on Character

When two people interact, words/facial-expressions are exchanged. How one feels, from each interaction, is genuine and something you can freely communicate. How one judges another person's character to be due to that interaction is NOT right.

Note that this is not the same as being judgmental on one's performance at work. At work, we cannot avoid having to judge someone's performance, especially if we're a manager and we're being judged on our work based on metrics. We can, at work, judge whether the work was good or bad, but judging whether someone is good or bad or ____ or ____ is not something we should do.  

Again, for managers, judgement on one's performance is completely okay; it's judgement on one's character that we should try to avoid.


Scenario 1: An Argument in the Team

You have a pretty good team. Your supervisor is good and your team-mates are good... mostly. In fact, there is this one colleague of yours who really gets on your nerve. Every time you speak, he interrupts. When you're speaking, he doesn't seem to be listening or paying attention. He also seems to avoid having to talk to you. You made honest efforts, several times, to get to know this team-mate but for some reason, he doesn't seem to like you! He avoids situations where he would be 1:1 with you. On the last meeting, he interrupted you while you were making a presentation, and made a few remarks where you and others in the room were rolling eyes and thinking, "what's wrong with this guy?". You decided to just ignore this person but still deep inside, you're feeling a lot of anger and resentment toward this person. You were holding up until one day, finally, this person triggered your built-up emotion, and you explode.

Scenario 2: A Team Member with Below-average Performance

You took over a new team and one of the employees continues to struggle. You took time to meet with this employee 1:1 to find out what happened and why the employee is not able to perform. It has already been several weeks but the person doesn't seem to improve. You inquire if there is anything special going at home, but as far as you can tell, there is not something special going on. What should you do? Should you fire this person now? Or should you wait a few more weeks before firing them?

Scenario 3: A difficult person

Your team is quite good and you enjoy working with your team. Most of the team-mates have similar personalities as you. Your team is open, friendly, and courteous. New members join the team and your personalities just don't mesh. In fact, it seems to really collide. This person actually reminds you of someone in your past that have bullied you. The way this person smiles, talks, etc, just rubs against your skin. Maybe it is really because this person reminds you of someone in your past that you don't want to remember. You know this person didn't do anything wrong to you and you try not to judge this person but you can't help it... No matter how much effort you have tried in the past, you just can't seem to get along with this person. What should you do? Should you try to overcome your past and become a friend to this person?